For those of you who have spent the last thirty years living alone in an underground bunker because no one told you the Cold War was over, 'millennial' is the semi-derogatory term used to describe everyone born between the early 1980s and a nebulous point in the early 2000s. Make no mistake, hatred for millennials is the same "darn kids today!" griping that's been going on since Socrates noticed the young people's togas were a little too revealing; the only difference is that millennials are somehow special, because we were between the ages of 19 and -3 years old at the turn of the millennium. Complaints about millennials usually centre around the fact that we use our smartphones too much, because apparently everyone was expecting us to be the first generation in human history to break from tens of thousands of years of evolution by refusing to improve our lives with the tools available to us. Sorry about that. We really let you down, guys.
Oh, and also we wear large glasses and work for tech startups, vegan juice bars or Buzzfeed. All of us work in one of those three places. Every single one of us. It doesn't seem statistically or demographically possible, but it's true.
I, too, like to gather an interracial selection of my friends each morning to check our iPads and drink coffee from a beaker.
There are only two types of people who use the word 'millennial': crotchety old people who don't understand Skype or youth unemployment, and misguided old people who think that people in their early twenties actually enjoy being called millennials, and use it to market things to us. This article is about a group of people who do that second thing.